VICE up your life

Jeg elsker Vice overskrifter. Ikke nødvendigvis indholdet eller artiklerne. Men jeg er kæmpe fan af overskrifterne.

”Mød hashnonnerne fra Californien”

”De her kager er det sygeste shit, du har set”

”Jeg fik min mor til at trippe på svampe, så vi kunne tale om min fars død”.

 

Wow.

 

De er lavet efter en formel. Tilføj to modstridende elementer: fx Hash/nonner, svampetrip/fars død, kager/lort. Brug gerne bandeord: så man lyder sådan lidt vild og fri. Jeg/vi-perspektiv: skab ideen om, at alle andres liv er. fucked. up. og fyldt med sperm og stoffer.

 

Det er fantastisk.

 

Jeg elsker, at Vice altid lader til at vide, hvad jeg har brug for at vide.

”10 spørgsmål du altid har haft lyst til at stille en agorafob” 10!? Jeg har en hel notesbog fyldt med spørgsmål!

”Jeg tabte mig et kilo ved kun at spise ananas i to dage, så du ikke behøver det” Af hjertet, tak.

”Debatten raser: Skal man stille ketchuppen i køleskabet eller ej” Jeg er på nippet til at implodere ad ren og skær indestængt vrede…og forvirring!?

 

Nogle overskrifter er kunstværker i sig selv. Hvis ikke snart de bliver printet på Go-Cards, er der ingen retfærdighed til.

”Vi spurgte en pornostjerne og en professor, hvordan man spermer som en pro” (i øvrigt flankeret under kategorien ”sæd”). Den overskrift har alt. PROFESSOR SPERMER PORNOSTJERNE PRO.

 

Boom.

 

Som en anden 13-årig belieber er jeg naturligvis selv gået i kast med en omgang fanfic. Altså kun overskrifter – bevares. Artikler kan alle skrive.

”Jeg gik i gummistøvler i 100 dage, så du ikke behøver det”

”Min mor er på coke, og jeg har skrevet en musical om det.”

”Syge ting man oplever som som ungarbejder i Jem og Fix”

”10 ting du ikke vidste om kalk”

Ak og ve. Det er ikke nemt.

 

Tak Vice.

 

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